Beyond Waiting: 3 Ways I Prepared for Authentic Love

People often assume that finding love later in life must mean settling, getting lucky, or lowering your standards. But when love finally arrived for me in my 50s, it was none of those things. It wasn't just love—it was powerful, aligned, and unlike anything I'd ever experienced before.

For most of my life, love felt like something I had to work hard to hold onto. I tolerated behaviors that made me uncomfortable—even emotionally dysregulated—because I believed love had to be preserved at all costs. I didn't always choose well, and once I was in a relationship, I felt responsible for making it last, even if it made me unhappy.

Over time, I got many of my emotional needs met through friendships—the parts of me that weren't nourished inside the relationship had to find care elsewhere.

Eventually, I reached a turning point. I no longer wanted to repeat that version of love. I wanted something deeper, more honest. I wanted a relationship that reflected the kind of love I knew I was capable of giving. And to call that in, I had to start within.

Here are the three reasons I believe love showed up for me when it did:

1. I Took Responsibility for My Past and Made Peace With It

Before I could move forward, I had to stop looking at my past relationships with just pain or blame. I began to gently and honestly ask myself: What were the patterns I kept repeating? Where had they shown up before?

In that reflection, I uncovered something big. I traced the root of some of my fears all the way back to childhood—to the loss of my grandmother when I was just seven years old. She was the person I was most deeply attached to, and one day… she was simply gone. No one explained it. And something in me quietly learned: love can disappear without warning.

That fear was reinforced again when my beloved Jim died in a car accident. Another unexpected and traumatic loss that left a deep imprint. These experiences shaped the way I held love—tightly, cautiously, sometimes fearfully.

But the deeper work allowed me to stop running from those truths and start healing them. I came to understand that while we can't always control what happens to us, we can make peace with it, integrate it, and grow stronger because of it.

And I held onto something powerful: the awareness that I love deeply. That I have always loved deeply. And that there would be someone—someone who was also seeking that kind of connection—who would not only be able to receive it, but match it.

2. I Embraced Who I Am—Fully and Unapologetically

As I began to truly see myself, I realized just how much I had to give. I have a deep capacity for love, for presence, for understanding, for emotional availability. I am loyal, intuitive, thoughtful, independent, and supportive. And for a long time, I questioned whether those qualities would be "too much." Whether they'd be met or even appreciated.

But somewhere along the way I made a decision: I would no longer dim parts of myself to be more acceptable. I stopped softening or editing who I was in order to be chosen.

I believed—deeply believed—that there was someone out there who would want nothing more than for me to be exactly who I am. Someone who had longed for the very things I bring into a relationship. In fact, I often imagined that someone had written a list of the qualities they were looking for—and I was that list.

That belief didn't come from ego. It came from alignment. I knew I was no longer available for anything that asked me to shrink. And I trusted that the right person would see me clearly and celebrate it.

3. I Was Truly Ready—Energetically, Emotionally, and Spiritually

By the time Roger and I met, I wasn't waiting in the traditional sense. I was living. I had done the deep inner work, and I felt peaceful and full within myself. I wasn't hoping love would rescue me or make me whole—I had already come home to myself.

But readiness isn't passive. It's not about sitting quietly and hoping someone wonderful stumbles into your life. For me, readiness was active. It was intentional.

In the practices we now teach in our coaching, I began to imagine a relationship that was more expansive than anything I had ever experienced. At first, it felt out of reach. But I kept stretching my vision, reminding myself: "No... even more than that."

I hadn't grown up witnessing the kind of love I longed for, so I had to create that vision from scratch—one that matched the depth of the love I knew I had in my heart. And that became my sacred practice.

I envisioned:

• Emotional safety

• Thoughtful gestures

• Kindness

• Shared joy

• Someone who met me with openness, care, and presence

• A true partner

And slowly, something shifted. My energy changed. I became unavailable—not guarded, but simply energetically unavailable—for anything that didn't match that vision. Lower-frequency connections didn't even enter my realm. Not because I was closed off, but because I had elevated what I was willing to receive.

I also practiced being the partner I wanted to be. I communicated more clearly with everyone in my life. I practiced acceptance. I deepened my ability to listen and stay present. I expanded who I was, not because I was trying to "earn" love—but because I knew the love I desired would require more of me. And I was ready for that.

I began speaking directly to the Universe:

"I'm ready. I trust you. And I trust that he's out there, ready too. Let our paths cross when the time is right."

And sometimes, I would speak directly to the one I hadn't met yet:

"I know you're out there looking for me. I'm ready. Let's find each other."

And somehow, I believed that energy would find him. And it did.

Finding Your Own Path to Love

Love didn't show up because I got lucky. It showed up because I became the version of myself who could truly receive it. A version who no longer tried to fix love or make it fit into something just "acceptable." I waited for the love that felt expansive and right—and I became the woman who wouldn't settle for anything less.

If you're still waiting for love, don't rush. Don't panic. Just keep becoming. Let the love you're calling in begin with the way you love yourself. Because the more aligned you are with your truth, the more clearly love will recognize you when it arrives.

Ready to Transform Your Love Life?

If these insights resonated with you and you're ready to do the inner work that prepares you for authentic love, Roger and I would love to help. In our coaching program, we’ll guide you through the exact practices that helped us find each other and create the relationship we'd both been seeking.

Learn More About Our Coaching

Discover how to release old patterns, embrace your authentic self, and become energetically ready for the love you deserve.

Written by Kim Bajorek

Manifestationship®️ Coach

Helping people create authentic, fulfilling relationships through conscious awareness and intentional growth