Are You Unknowingly Manifesting Short-term Fantasies Rather Than a Long-term Loving Relationship?

---

Do you find yourself meeting a new partner, followed by a strong initial burst of passion and excitement, but end up dating for only a short while, missing out on “the one” that lasts beyond a few months or a year—the one that turns into that amazing long-term relationship you have always said you wanted, the one you so rightfully deserve?

So, what happens when these seemingly perfect relationships, so passionate and exciting in the beginning, unexpectedly deteriorate into something undesirable, or worse yet, start looking like “the same old thing?” Why do they not become “the one,” where you live that happily ever after?

Let’s take a closer look.

What is a “fantasy" relationship and how is it different than a “real” relationship?

The “fantasy” is what we consider the initial part of a relationship, often called the honeymoon phase. It is filled with excitement, newness, passion and joy. This is the time where you love everything about your partner—they can do no wrong in your eyes. It’s the first date, the first kiss, the wonderful synchronicities, the times when the chemistry is so strong that you just can’t keep your hands off each other. The romantic weekends away, the thoughtful gestures and affection that is ever-present during this time. It’s the phase of intoxication, deeply appealing and arousing—a time that you hope will never end.

The second phase, which is the relationship itself, is where your bond has solidified and you decide to invest in a long-term commitment with this person you are so passionate about. It’s what a relationship, in its perfect incarnation, might look like five, ten or more years down the line. This is the happily ever after part.

Of course, you want all of this, right?

Although the bliss at the beginning of a relationship is very desirable and important, it’s critical to understand that both phases must be given equal importance in the manifestation process—for the relationship to become all that it can be.

Unfortunately, some people never successfully get past phase one. They live in a perpetual revolving door of fantasy relationships, moving in and out from one to the next without ever achieving something that could be considered truly special.

Why is this?

The focus is only on the fantasy

Kim and I can often quickly spot people who live in a perpetual state of revolving fantasy. They jump into a relationship and can’t seem to get enough of each other. They might proclaim that it’s the greatest thing ever and they can’t wait to shout it from the rooftops. They are so excited and passionate, and they just seem to get each other. Soulmates. It’s the best relationship ever.

But then a short while later the relationship finds itself in turmoil. They are fighting. Can’t agree on anything. It seems as if they are suddenly dating someone they hardly know, triggering each other in every way. They split up. But instead of learning or evolving, they continue to repeat the same pattern with the next new partner. They never get to happily ever after.

So, what happened?

Those who primarily focus their conscious attention on the fantasy, and cannot seem to manifest long-term relationships, do so for several reasons, such as:

• They believe that a strong fantasy encounter is what will launch them into that perfect relationship that lasts forever. The stronger the fantasy, the better the relationship potential, they might argue.

• They lack the necessary awareness around positive, loving, successful long-term relationships. They may not have witnessed many great relationships in their lives; in their families, and when they do see positive relationships they might project negativity or resentment toward them.

• There is no clarity or awareness as to what they are putting out into the Universe—what they are actually requesting—which is often quite different than what they might say they want.

• They have negative beliefs about themselves, such as: I am not worthy, good things don’t happen to me, that’s for other people, and so forth.

These all have one thing in common; they are all self-defeating beliefs and behaviors.

The simplest explanation is that these people are putting out energetic signals about relationships with little or no conscious clarity on how these signals affect them—which actually means they are defaulting to an alignment with their subconscious beliefs around relationships—the types of behaviors and beliefs we stated above. And, in most cases these people don’t even realize what’s happening to them.

Why not just live in the fantasy?

With all that passion, energy and excitement, you naturally want these fantasies to last. But most do not; it’s not in their nature. A relationship will always try to evolve beyond this initial phase, because when you also desire the relationship that follows, you might not be able to imagine that such an exciting, passionate affair with another person could just end. You have to continue it forward. You are in love. You want more of the same.

But this doesn’t mean that a long-term relationship is destined to deteriorate. It just means that you might not know how to manifest it properly in the first place—to your benefit and desire. In fact, a well manifested relationship can get better and better over time, become even more amazing, loving, passionate and so much more. Done right it should become your happily ever after.

What happens when you don’t focus on manifesting the entire relationship?

Because there are these two distinct components of a relationship, that are created separately, if you don’t integrate them into your intentions with clarity and thoroughness, you leave the creation of such an important part of your life to chance. You may manifest the fantasy, while you’re putting most of your attention there, because it’s exciting and stimulating. But if you ignore the relationship component, manifestation of that will naturally revert to the old beliefs that are stored in your subconscious mind—around relationships—what you think you’re worthy of—as we outlined above. This could include observations of how your parents behaved toward each other, or perhaps other negative, non-supportive beliefs that you may have adopted along the way.

If you are not challenging the truth of these beliefs, and releasing and replacing them with positive, supportive ones, you will not see change. For example, if you believe that there are no good ones out there, you are cursed in relationships, you’re too this, that or something else, then the Universe, which takes no sides, will accept these as your truths, and continue to deliver them to you. What you end up with then is a similar partner and relationship to what you had before, only with a different name and face. This is when you might utter phrases like “Why do I always attract these types?” Well, if that’s you, it’s because that is the energetic signal you are putting out there. It’s a simple and as complex as that.

---

What we manifest is a reflection of the signal we put out. We cannot manifest in conflict with our signal. We just need to be crystal clear on what our signal is.

---

So, let’s change these types of perceptions and begin to request something different, which always begins with positive beliefs and expectations around what an amazing relationship means to you.

Are you ready to do that?

So, how do you create this amazing, passionate, complete relationship and live happily ever after?

Let’s start by asking yourself this question—do I really want a long-term relationship, or do I just want to move from one fantasy to another?

If the answer is yes to the relationship, and you’re struggling to attract it, then it’s likely that you just don’t know how to get there. If your past does not show you a way to success in love, and you don’t do things like paying attention to and blessing the positive relationships around you, and learning to discern what you would like for yourself, then you are at a great disadvantage.

Quite simply, you create from your beliefs, your energy, and where you direct your attention—this is your true power. When you don’t do this with dedication, purpose and intention you give your power away, and from there you fail to manifest your truest desires.

So, how do you begin this process?

Start by asking yourself these simple yet profound questions:

• What does a long-term relationship mean to me? Write it out in detail.
  

• What are my beliefs about long-term relationships? List out 5-10 things.

Spend time with each of these questions. We recommend that you spend a week with each one. Dig deep. Be completely honest with yourself. We also suggest that you keep this work to yourself—consider it a sacred process where this particular path is only yours to travel. Sharing this delicate, personal work with others will leave you open to suggestion. We want you to be fully present here, with yourself and your desires, so that you can manifest the love that is perfect just for you, and there is nobody that can decide that but you.

The next step is to re-phrase each of your responses to the questions above, turning them into the most positive statements you can. If you say that you always attract losers, then a re-write might sound like: I may have attracted some undesirable relationships in the past, but I now realize that I am worthy of so much more. I can now imagine myself attracting a wonderful, positive, supportive partner who exceeds my highest standards.

Next, begin to imagine every aspect of your perfect long-term relationship in this same level of detail. From your new point of view and beliefs, visualize it in its entirety, and remind yourself over and over again what you have decided you want, and that you will accept nothing less. Keep your fantasy as well, but imagine it evolving into this amazing long-term relationship that exceeds your every expectation—because you deserve it.

And, especially, do not presume that the love and passion and excitement you feel at the beginning has to disappear. Think about how that initial magic gets ignited over and over and over again as you go through your lives together—creating adventures, a home, a family, a business, you name it. And feel how that chemistry is sparked each time, but now with a great, deep love and respect underlying all of it.

When you can begin envisioning your amazing relationship 5-10 years into the future and beyond, you’re sending a clear message to the Universe that you’re looking for a lasting love, not a brief fantasy. The manifestation of a long-term relationship includes things that you’d love to experience with your partner in the future—like how romantic and thoughtful they continue to be. What they do to make you feel special and loved. Think about how affectionate the two of your are, how you support each other’s wins and how you’re there for each other when things are hard. Think about how you work through conflict and about how respectful you are of each other—and never have an unkind thing to say of the other.

And when you meet someone new, be discerning. Do they have all of the qualities you’re intending to manifest? If not, then keep going…the love of your life is out there, and they are looking for this new version of you.

Are you ready?

Please follow us online and sign up for our email list for exclusive, supportive content.