A Man's Perspective on Relationship Myths

"Men just want one thing…only care about looks…only want younger women.” “Men are this…or…men are that.”

Sound familiar? If you're a single woman, chances are these types of thoughts have crossed your mind, or, you’ve certainly heard them spoken once or twice. The thing is, if we’re not careful, these beliefs can become so deeply woven into our mental fabric that they become almost automatic. But here's the reality check you need: these very thoughts might be the invisible wall standing between you and the relationship you desire.

As a man who has journeyed deep into understanding how beliefs shape relationships, I'm here to challenge these pervasive myths. Not because they're hurtful (though they certainly can be), but because they're silently sabotaging your chance of finding the profound connection you seek.

The Belief Trap

We've all heard the stereotypes: men are emotionally unavailable, they're afraid of commitment, they haven’t done any work on themselves, they only chase younger women. These beliefs don't materialize from thin air – they often root themselves in past heartbreaks, family dynamics, cultural messaging, and painful personal experiences.

But here's the crucial truth about beliefs: they act as filters through which we view the world. When you believe men only want superficial connections, you'll naturally notice and remember examples that confirm this belief, while unconsciously filtering out evidence that challenges it. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy that keeps you trapped in patterns that don't serve your highest good.

Breaking the Cycle: My Journey to Deep Connection

When I emerged from divorce after many years of marriage, I made a conscious choice: instead of rushing back into dating, I paused for deep self-reflection. I realized that seeking a relationship without clarity would be like grocery shopping without a list – grabbing whatever caught my eye rather than what would truly nourish me.

What I wanted wasn't just physical attraction, and certainly not superficial compatibility. I didn’t want to repeat the past; I wanted a new future that I created with thoughtful intention. I dreamed of finding a true life partner – someone to share deep and meaningful conversations, to laugh uncontrollably with, to build dreams alongside. I wanted someone close to my age who shared my cultural references and life experiences. I imagined cooking dinners together while our favorite music played in the background, taking long walks on the beach, and perhaps even collaborating on some sort of creative endeavor that I couldn’t yet imagine. The bottom line is that I put no limitations on what was possible for me. 

The key was refusing to limit myself to conventional expectations. By allowing myself to dream big and believe in the possibility of finding someone who aligned with my authentic desires, I opened the door to magic. That's exactly what happened when I met Kim. We connected on every level I had imagined and more, proving that when you raise your expectations and align your energy with what you truly want, extraordinary things happen.

The Magnetism of Mindset

There's profound truth in the age-old wisdom: you attract what you believe. If you consistently hold and express beliefs that men are lazy, unfaithful, or emotionally unavailable, you're unknowingly creating an energetic barrier between yourself and the countless wonderful men who defy these stereotypes.

Think about it: would an emotionally intelligent, faithful, and ambitious man be drawn to someone who believes all men are the opposite of who he is? These high-quality partners seek someone who recognizes and appreciates their depth, not someone they need to convince of their worth.

Consider Amanda, one of our clients who struggled to find a meaningful connection. During her initial coaching interview, we discovered she spent considerable time with friends competing over who had the most inconsiderate partner. Through our work together, Amanda learned to reject these negative narratives and craft a new truth about her ideal future relationship. As she held firm to her transformed beliefs about men, the quality of her connections shifted dramatically, ultimately leading her to a partner who embodied everything she had come to believe was possible.

Your Path to Transformation

The journey to finding deep, meaningful love starts with you – no exceptions. Here's how to begin:

1. Examine Your Beliefs

Take out a journal and write down your current beliefs about men and relationships. Which ones limit you? Which ones serve you? For each negative belief, create a positive alternative that opens you to new possibilities.

2. Trace Their Origins

For each belief, ask yourself: Is this from personal experience? Family? Friends? Media? Understanding the source helps you evaluate its validity and choose whether to keep or release it.

3. Seek New Evidence

Challenge yourself to find three examples this week that contradict your limiting beliefs. They could be couples you know, interactions you witness throughout your day, or stories that inspire you. Make it a daily practice to notice and appreciate men who defy your old expectations.

Creating Your New Reality

These incredible men aren't rare unicorns – they're everywhere once you start looking for them. From my personal experience and close male friendships, I can attest that there are countless talented, deep, articulate, caring, and adventurous partners out there. But attracting them requires aligning yourself with their energy through your own inner work and growth.

Remember, the amazing partner you dream of is out there, likely searching for someone just like you. But first, you need to clear the path by releasing the limiting beliefs that create barriers to genuine connection.

Take these new, empowering beliefs and weave them into your daily practice. Repeat them, embody them, and watch for evidence that supports them. As your energy shifts, you'll find yourself naturally attracting partners who align with your elevated vision of love.

The journey to finding deep, lasting love isn't about finding a halfway suitable partner and setting out to change them – it's about transforming our own perspectives and energy. When we elevate our beliefs about what's possible in relationships, we elevate our experience of love itself, and that's when true magic happens.

Written by Roger Hardnock

Manifestationship®️ Coach

Helping people create authentic, fulfilling relationships through conscious awareness and intentional growth